Romance and Gaming – Introducing Video Games into your Relationship

These days it is not that hard to get your girlfriend to play video games. Just look at the casual game revolution (smartphones games, motion control, and social network games) and you will find it is easier to turn your girlfriend into a casual gamer than ever before!

I decided to write about this because I don’t feel like many articles out there give the right impression about women.  Most people tend to herd us into one finite category. Generally this category isn’t an accurate representation of my gender, but more like a characterization of what a woman should be like. I wanted to write something that didn’t pigeon-hole us as unrealistic, unreasonable, and romantically obsessed. I don’t feel that representation does us justice or paints an accurate picture of what you’re going up against.

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You really don’t need to “trick” your girlfriend into playing video games with you by coating them with some romantic varnish or inventing imaginary friends. Many women, particularly more educated women, know their own minds. You are not going to pull a fast one on us like this, I’m sorry. So instead I’m going to help you out by addressing this:

How to Make Video Games Romantic
(or rather how to capitalize on the romantic elements of video games)

Romance is about intimacy. At it’s very core it is bonding experience. Most of us, both men and women, have a basic desire to interact and bond with each other. The things you want are the same things your girlfriend wants.

That being said, you might not want exactly the same things, but they are usually close enough for government work. She wants you to go dancing with her, you want her to play video games with you. At the heart of this is a genuine desire for your significant other to enjoy the things you like, or at least make an effort to appreciate the things you like. It’s a desire for bonding.  Understanding a few things and a bit of effort on both sides goes a LONG way in making a relationship more successful and less stressful.

So I will start by addressing this simple fact: Video games are not inherently romantic.

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Video games are not roses and Champagne, or a walk on the beach at sunset, or a trip to Paris for your anniversary. They just aren’t. They may be one day, but they aren’t right now. But video games are fun. And fun is certainly an important component of romance.  All the trips to Paris and strolls on the beach really don’t amount to much if no one is having any fun. And fun is enough to work with. So you can safely forgo the candle light and flower petals.

Here are some suggestions to make your video game experience a comfortable one:

Date night
Video games can be a wonderful part of a stay at home date night or a casual end to a night out. Order something from your favorite restaurant (or make your favorite meal at home), hop into your comfy pants, and plop yourselves down on the couch. Pretty much “movie night” without the movie.  If your lady love wants a fancier night (I would venture to say that most girls don’t get dressed up to sit on the couch), go out for dinner and/or drinks and end the evening a little early to relax at home with some games.

We’re actually gearing up to offer you a new section called Date Night to give you some inspiration for just this type of thing. 

Relaxing mornings
Saturday (or any other day off) is a great time to play video games with the love of your life. For me, sleeping in (until the ungodly hour of 7:30am), followed by a bit of breakfast to eat on the couch while I play a game is very nostalgic. It’s pretty much the exact same ritual as the Saturday morning cartoons we all watched as kids, and trust me; that little oomph of familiarity definitely doesn’t hurt when it comes to getting your lady to join in. Cuddling up to each other on the couch to play together is a great carefree way to spend the morning.

Co-op Games
With rare exceptions, I would venture to say co-op games are going to help you out the most in romance department. Watching your significant other putz around looking for treasure will get old quickly. Competitive games can start fights, especially if there are sore losers involved. Working on something together is far more gratifying and fun.

Now allow me to offer you a couple things to avoid:

Don’t schedule raid night on date night
If you want one surefire way to give your girlfriend a negative association with videogames, trust me, this is it. This is a good way to give the impression that video games are more important that her. Things will not go well. Have a set date night and a set raid night, and ensure they don’t overlap.

Don’t be an ass
I have found this to be the best rule to live by. Most of us tend to avoid things we are not good at, and you will only contribute to this aversion if you don’t behave. Play nice, be helpful and supportive, and just be considerate of your partners feelings.

Don’t be inconsiderate of her time or hobbies
If she has endeavored to be included in your hobbies, you should do the same. Either become more involved in her interests or pick up a new activity together. And never force or guilt her into playing games with you. Be respectful of her time.

There really isn’t much else to it. With a little common sense, gaming can become a fun and romantic activity that you can both enjoy. I plan to write more articles specifically addressing specific genres, as well as giving some recommendations on games to try.

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5 thoughts on “Romance and Gaming – Introducing Video Games into your Relationship

  1. A night playing Portal 2 co-op with a significant other would be magical. Love the pic of the controllers with the wine, btw! This article is awesome… though I feel like I should someday write one about getting a boyfriend to play video games with the girlfriend. =)

  2. As a bloke that tries to get my girlfriend to play video games with me,I truly enjoyed this article from beginning to end. The points you hit about showing interest in what your significant other is interested in is something i learned from her, and i believe more blokes should be willing to do the same and step out of their comfort zone. only then can gaming be romantic.

    truly wonderful article i look forward to reading more from you.

  3. Sarah Dyson says:

    What coop games do you recommend for the PlayStation 4? This is a wonderful idea. Thank you!

    • gimmgp says:

      Thanks for the kind words! Laura and I haven’t invested in a PS4 just yet, but there are several co-op games in which we are interested, like Child of Light, Little Big Planet 3, and Destiny.

      There are also many co-op games we previously enjoyed that have been ported to the PS4, like Guacamelee and Resident Evil: Revelations 2.

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